My Insane School Tour by Lucy S

My class and I were going on a school tour with two teachers. First, we went to these big tall ancient statues.  All the class had gone to look at the petting zoo while I stayed and looked at the statues. They were so fascinating, it almost looked like they began to speak. I squinted my eyes to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

“NO! I’M SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU,” the third statue continued. “I’M OLDER AND BUFFER.” I trembled with fear, seeing that these statues were actually speaking. “NO WAY,” said statue three. I stumbled back, to the soil ground.

5 thoughts on “My Insane School Tour by Lucy S”

  1. Well done, Lucy. Your story is well organised and very clearly written. Your writing flows well as I can see that you have tried to vary your sentences. Maybe next time, you could experiment with putting the extra information at the beginning eg “Seeing that these statues were actually speaking, I trembled with fear.” Does it change anything? You have some great words, like squinted, trembled and stumbled which really give an idea of what is happening and what the character is thinking.
    Keep up the good work.

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