the pink lake- zara

I was walking in the dark forest one evening. And I saw something glimmering and shining through the narrow trees. So I walked slowly with my heavy back pack dangling around my arms. As I got closer, I could have sworn that I saw a PINK lake. And when I squeezed through the last tree, I DID see a pink lake. It was calling me, like the moon calling the wolf.  I kneeled down and poked my head in. And saw a reflection of my long lost parents hiding behind a wall with me in their arms hiding from something.

2 thoughts on “the pink lake- zara”

  1. Dear Zara,
    First of all, I think the purpose for the Pink Lake is super creative. The description is amazing. “It was calling me, like the moon calling the wolf.” “I was walking in the dark forest one evening.” “… something glimmering and shining through the narrow trees.” “…I walked slowly with my heavy backpack dangling around my arms.” And even more. So good!!! There’s only a few places with punctuation errors. Otherwise this is awesome.
    I haven’t done this 100WC week, so try to check out my piece from week 29!
    Sincerely, Zara.
    P.S. We have the SAME NAME!!!

  2. Hi Zara!I really liked your story. One thing you did well was adding descriptive words, the words made the story more interesting. Another thing that you did that made your story awesome was you left a cliffhanger. That is cool how she saw a pink lake, I wonder if there is any pink lakes. I liked your idea.One thing you can work on is not using “I” so much, try to use other words not just “I”.
    -Megan in Illinois

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